Lifestyle | Denver's Best Haunted Houses

Human beings are weird. We voluntarily consent to entering creepy places ridden with chainsaws, demented clowns and awakened zombies… Our eyes light at the excitement accompanied with small spaces and ominous laughter. Because, when our pulse quickens and tiny pearls of sweat form at our temples, we feel alive. It reminds us simultaneously of our mortality and immortality... Haunted houses may make us cower in shame or sacrifice a loved one standing next to us, but they also offer an escape from reality. 

And luckily for our sweet, sadistic readers, Denver has some of the scariest haunted houses in America. We already did all of the ground work for you to ensure your haunted house experience is one you’ll never forget (or escape from)! *Muahahahaha

So grab some candy corn, light that pumpkin candle and hold someone’s hand because we’re about to give you the down-low on Denver’s best haunts. 

The Overview (in no particular order): 

13th Floor:

 Only one of the many haunts lurking on the 13th floor (image: cuindependent.com)

Only one of the many haunts lurking on the 13th floor (image: cuindependent.com)

The 13th floor disorients you, terrifies you and then spits you out into the depths of hell. From the very second you enter the 13th Floor you are overcome with an overwhelming sense of inescapability. There is literally no turning back and what lies in lurk ahead is enough to make even the toughest of bros whimper in fear. The special effects used in making this haunted house are way beyond anything we’ve come across before. Each room is meticulously put together and emphasizes even the smallest of details. From the swamp room to the dizzy bridge, the 13th Floor really pushes the boundaries on what constitutes a haunted house. We were truly impressed. 

City of the Dead: 

 The City of the Dead was no stranger to poorly bound chainlink fences. 

The City of the Dead was no stranger to poorly bound chainlink fences. 

The City of the Dead was terrifying from the get-go, with a Purge-esq alarm whaling coupled with the palpable fear from the line, the anticipation was almost more frightening than the haunted house - almost. The fog filled sky and shattered lampposts transported you to a true City of the Dead. The scenery and atmosphere became your reality and you were suddenly running aimlessly through the haunted streets of an abandoned, ravaged city. Terrifying, exciting and pulse quickening - highly recommended. 

Haunted Field of Screams: 

 Chainsaws and corn - A Haunted Field of Screams staple. 

Chainsaws and corn - A Haunted Field of Screams staple. 

The Haunted Field of Screams is composed of three different haunts, all of which were a rip-roaring good time. We laughed, we cried, we almost punched a crawling demon - all in all the perfect Halloween evening. The first and longest haunt was the corn maze, as you wandered aimlessly through fields of corn, demons, scare crows and vampiric warlords spooked, haunted and chased you to the finish line. We followed the maze with some good old fashion demon hunting. Disclaimer: Zombie paintball may bring out your darker side. The last and scariest event at the Haunted Field of Screams was the haunted house, as we waded through tiny crawl spaces, broken down school buses and carnivals straight from hades, we couldn’t help but be overcome with awe. The time, effort and detail that went into the entire field was mesmerizing. We recommend taking the whole family or a date and making an entire night out of it. SO fun. 

Asylum: 

 You can check in...but you'll probably never check out of the Asylum. (Image: Galleryhip.com)

You can check in...but you'll probably never check out of the Asylum. (Image: Galleryhip.com)

The Asylum begins by throwing you into a room with around 8 other people. In the room there is a dead body, an X-ray and a code (somewhere). You have 3 minutes to crack the code and escape before the room fills with knock out gas. Tensions are high as you race around the room, fighting the clock and your fellow cellmates for your life. Inside the Asylum the same tensions and clock fueled anxiety are rampant. Every room, turn or twist could be your last. As you run through the hospital you are greeted by escaped/deranged patients and even equally as scary staff. The Asylum was jump-out scary, alarming and anxiety inducing. An all around great haunted house. 

The Awards: 

Best Overall Haunted House: 13th Floor

Best Date Night: Haunted Field of Screams 

Best Costumes/Stage Design: City of the Dead

Best Storyline: Asylum

Scariest Haunted House: 13th Floor

Most Fun: Haunted Field Of Screams

Things to look out for: Spruce will be shutting down their normal retail and barber operations in lieu of a haunted house on Saturday, October 31 and Sunday, November 1 starting at noon. This will be Denver's first and only virtual reality haunted house -- and it's free! To learn more and book your appointment, click here